


Safety Demonstration

by Poetry



Category: Doctor Who
Genre: Canon Compliant, Fluff, Gen, Humor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-01-15
Updated: 2010-01-15
Packaged: 2017-10-06 07:23:44
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 517
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/51143
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Poetry/pseuds/Poetry
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The Doctor shows Donna why she should always wear goggles in the lab.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Safety Demonstration

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Malathyne](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Malathyne/gifts).



> When I told my beta that I am pathologically incapable of writing fluff, she challenged me to write Doctor/Donna friendship fic. Of course, I can never resist a challenge, so I wrote this bit of fluff based on the true story of my favorite high school teacher's safety demonstration in chemistry class.

"Donna, I think it's time you learned how to use the med lab," the Doctor declared, half-hopping, half-striding into the TARDIS kitchen.

"Why? You know perfectly well how to use it." Donna put down the knife with which she'd been about to cut a slice of banana cream pie. "Besides, wouldn't your superior Time Lord technology melt my poor little human brain?"

"In case you haven't noticed, I'm a bit, well," he said, stretching his mouth around the word, "jeopardy-friendly." Donna snorted. "I can't help it! Anyway, you might have to use it on your own one day."

"Can I bring pie with me to the lab?" said Donna, arms akimbo.

"Of course not!" the Doctor spluttered. "No food or drink in the med lab!"

"Then you're teaching me in here. I want pie." At some point in the conversation, Donna had picked up the knife and started waving it around for emphasis. The Doctor found himself taking a tiny step backward.

"But Donna..." She turned around and cut herself a slice of pie, and the Doctor knew that she would brook no argument. "All right, then! Safety demonstration!" He started rifling through the cupboards, opening and shutting them at such great speed that Donna's fork rattled on her plate next to the pie slice.

"_You_ are going to show _me_ how to be safe." Donna folded her arms and leaned against the counter.

"Ha!" The Doctor had somehow collected a tall, fluted glass and a leathery blue egg the size of his fist. "Now, the vitreous humour of the human eye is a clear jelly full of proteins. In fact, it's rather like - " He cracked the egg over the edge of the glass. " - egg whites. This is why it is crucial to wear goggles in the med lab at all times." He fetched a pair of goggles, thick black gloves, and a small vial out of a pocket, then put the goggles and gloves on. "This vial contains highly concentrated sulfuric acid. When it meets an unprotected human eye..."

He unscrewed the vial and poured a drop of acid into the glass. The egg whites hissed, steamed, and turned opaque white. Donna grimaced and pushed away the pie she'd been about to eat. "The proteins denature. Of course, it could be far, far worse. Get a drop of Andromedan whitefang venom in your eye, and it could swell to the size of a cricket ball and turn bright orange. Or the sap from an Arkellis flower, ooh, that's nasty. It'd start penetrating the optic nerve and eating away at the retina. There'd be nothing left. And you really want to avoid getting anti-plastic near your eyes. It would seep into your blood vessels until your head - "

Donna threw the banana cream pie in his face.

The Doctor peeled the pie off his face and took off his goggles. His skin was coated in a thick layer of pale cream except for a clean area around his eyes where the goggles had rested. "See? That's why you should always wear goggles in the lab." He grinned. "Jeopardy-friendly."


End file.
